As part of your wedding planning, you might have thought about doing your own wedding vows. After all, you and your fiancé are unique people, so why not say something that reflects who you are? The hardest part is trying to figure out exactly what to say. Here are some tips on finding the right words.

Writing wedding vows:

• Start with reading over traditional vows. They can give you a good launching point. They can also give you a structure for you both to follow, especially handy if you are writing them separately.
• Read over your favorite poems or song lyrics. These might be a great way for you to include a particularly meaningful passage in your vows.
• Use some quotes from your favorite TV show or movie. It could be a line you love to quote to each other or it might be something you heard on your first date.
• If you two love video games, you might even make reference to the game in your vows. You can have a full wedding theme around your favorite movie or game.
• Find some advice from your parents or grandparents to use. This often brings tears to the eyes of your attendees, but it’s also a really sweet way to pay tribute at the same time as you are starting your lives together.
• Use humor. One couple wrote, “I will always make sure there’s a box of fruit loops at home” as the other partner loves fruit loops. Just make sure the joke is appropriate and that it is not too obscure.
• Mention something cute or quirky about the other person. Those things you find endearing about your beloved are the things you will always cherish, so why not share them?
• Some religions have written agreements, so they make a great starting point for vows. For instance, in Judaism, the bride and groom sign a ketubah, or a form of a prenuptial agreement. You could consider incorporating part of the wording of the ketubah into your vows. Some couples have read their ketubah in front of everyone and explained what each component means to them.
• Write all the words down that you want, then trim them down later to about a minute’s worth of words per person. Getting all of your ideas down allows you to see them all and pick the best ideas and the ones that are the most important to you.

One thing to make sure of is that both of you are on the same page and that you both know you will be doing your own vows. A surprise here would not be too good!

Make sure the officiant is ok with you sharing your own vows, as some religions have specific things that must be said as part of the ceremony. Overall, the best tip on wedding vows is to let your heart speak. Good luck!